me, myself and I

Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, have 2 cans of guiness, with no one in my flat( all of them have gone back to their hometown :) how nice it is,i wish that my hometown is just couples of miles away:()) thinking of wht should i write in my blog for ths week. I suppose to do my works but I just cannot be bothered with that, thinking that there is still so much time before the deadline, HOW LAZY I AM!!!
Sometimes, people judge me from the first time they saw me- like : Alice is too quiet,studious, nerd or even have no fun. However, once they get to know me better, they tend to be surprised as I am not the way I am as what they thought to be. People/my friends get to know me better by the time flies, it is because that I do not really talk about my achievements or my personal life to persons who I do not really know. I felt it very strange to talk freely to not too known friends about my personal life/love life, probably i am either too secretive about it or conservative. Another reason is because I do not think of the use of me telling everyone about my personal/love life as even if i tell them, they will not be able to help me with that, so why should i burden them with the problem? Like the other day, I was talking to one of my mates/ asking him about valentine's thingy, suddenly in the middle of 'questioning and answering' time; a question of 'who is he' who gave me a card came out. I did not answer him. The reason is not because I do not want to answer him or think that he is a 'busybody' but it is because even if i tell him, he does not know who the guy is.
On the other hand, if I were a different type of Alice Angko, like the one who is more open. For example the one who can talk freely about herself, it makes me think that I am a very show off person. I want people or my friends to know me because of who I am- alice is alice; not because of I am the daughter of who and who or what I have achieved or gained so far in my life. One will get to know about it when one has known me for quite some time or throughly.
Another problem about me is I can be very cautious sometimes about everything when I am with someone who i do not really know. Thus , when I am replying to their questions,it will be quite slow as I need to think on how i should answer him/her or even sometimes i will just be quite as i do not know them. I can be very quite, dont talk much when i feel uncomfortable or when i have no mood to talk or even when i have no topic to talk to that person. It can be seen from my facial expression as well ( prob i am just too transparent sometimes :)) I tend to let strangers/not close mates to think about what they want to think about me, 'let them be as you do not knw me, you do not know who i am'. if thats the way they want to think about me, let them be- some has even called me as a nerd. I can be playful when I am with my close friends as they are trustable but not with 'strangers' as I need to take care of myself. In fact, i do have a friend who i have known for about five years and he has just known how playful ( study hard and play hard) i am last year (2006). I think it is necessary to gain trust among friends / close friends as they are your second family. Sometimes, I can feel straight away whether that person is trustable or not, but further observation need to be done to clarify it as instinct can be wrong. A person is trustable/responsible/you feel comfortable with, when you can click straight away with them. I can feel that too when that person is interested in talkin to me.
There are indeed times for study and times for playing, some people do not know how to differentiate it.
well thats what i have in my mind so far,or thats about me so far...to be continue.. if i still have thing s to write about myself. :)