Saturday, December 29, 2007

I will be happy when...

I have just looking/ check through all my emails (forwarded) today and gt ths article which I think is good to be share with friends/ people that come through my blog :), enjoy...

I'll be happy when...
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure
it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting ...
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you
finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.
There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So
work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.
Here's one nice story...
Dua Pilihan
> Pada sebuah jamuan makan malam pengadaan dana untuk sekolah
anak-anak
cacat, ayah dari salah satu anak yang bersekolah disana menghantarkan satu
pidato yang tidak mungkin dilupakan oleh mereka yang menghadiri acara itu.
Setelah mengucapkan salam pembukaan, ayah tersebut mengangkat satu topik:
>
> 'Ketika tidak mengalami gangguan dari sebab-sebab eksternal, segala proses
yang terjadi dalam alam ini berjalan secara sempurna/ alami. Namun tidak
demikian halnya dengan anakku, Shay. Dia tidak dapat mempelajari
hal-hal
sebagaimana layaknya anak-anak yang lain. Nah, bagaimanakah proses alami ini
berlangsung dalam diri anakku? '
> Para peserta terdiam menghadapi pertanyaan itu.
> Ayah tersebut melanjutkan: "Saya percaya bahwa, untuk seorang anak seperti
Shay, yang mana dia mengalami gangguan mental dan fisik sedari lahir,
satu-satunya kesempatan untuk dia mengenali alam ini berasal dari bagaimana
orang-orang sekitarnya memperlakukan dia"
> Kemudian ayah tersebut menceritakan kisah berikut:
> Shay dan aku sedang berjalan-jalan di sebuah taman ketika beberapa orang
anak sedang bermain baseball. Shay bertanya padaku,"Apakah kau pikir mereka
akan membiarkanku ikut
bermain?" Aku tahu bahwa kebanyakan anak-anak itu
tidak akan membiarkan orang-orang seperti Shay ikut dalam tim mereka, namun
aku juga tahu bahwa bila saja Shay mendapat kesempatan untuk bermain dalam
tim itu, hal itu akan memberinya semacam perasaan dibutuhkan dan kepercayaan
untuk diterima oleh orang-orang lain, diluar kondisi fisiknya yang cacat.
> Aku mendekati salah satu anak laki-laki itu dan bertanya apakah Shay dapat
ikut dalam tim mereka, dengan tidak berharap banyak. Anak itu melihat
sekelilingnya dan berkata, "kami telah kalah 6 putaran dan sekaran sudah
babak kedelapan. Aku rasa dia dapat ikut dalam tim kami dan kami akan
mencoba untuk memasukkan dia bertanding pada babak kesembilan nanti'
> Shay berjuang untuk mendekat ke dalam tim itu dan mengenakan seragam tim
dengan senyum lebar, dan aku menahan air mata di mataku dan kehangatan dalam
hatiku. Anak-anak tim tersebut melihat kebahagiaan seorang ayah yang gembira
karena anaknya diterima bermain dalam satu tim.
> Pada akhir putaran kedelapan, tim Shay mencetak beberapa skor, namun masih
ketinggalan angka. Pada putaran kesembilan, Shay mengenakan sarungnya dan
bermain di sayap kanan. Walaupun tidak ada bola yang mengarah padanya, dia
sangat antusias hanya karena turut serta dalam permainan tersebut dan berada
dalam lapangan itu. Seringai lebar terpampang di wajahnya ketika aku
melambai padanya dari kerumunan. Pada akhir putaran kesembilan, tim Shay
mencetak beberapa skor lagi. Dan dengan dua angka out, kemungkinan untuk
mencetak kemenangan ada di depan mata dan Shay yang terjadwal untuk menjadi
pemukul berikutnya.
> Pada kondisi yg spt ini, apakah mungkin mereka akan mengabaikan kesempatan
untuk menang dengan membiarkan Shay menjadi kunci kemenangan mereka?
> Yang mengejutkan adalah mereka
memberikan kesempatan itu pada Shay.
> Semua yang hadir tahu bahwa satu pukulan adalah mustahil karena Shay
bahkan tidak tahu bagaimana caranya memegang pemukul dengan benar, apalagi
berhubungan dengan bola itu.
> Yang terjadi adalah, ketika Shay melangkah maju kedalam arena, sang
pitcher, sadar bagaimana tim Shay telah mengesampingkan kemungkinan menang
mereka untuk satu momen penting dalam hidup Shay, mengambil beberapa langkah
maju ke depan dan melempar bola itu perlahan sehingga Shay paling tidak bisa
mengadakan kontak dengan bola itu. Lemparan pertama meleset; Shay mengayun
tongkatnya dengan ceroboh dan luput. Pitcher tsb kembali mengambil beberapa
langkah kedepan, dan melempar bola itu perlahan kearah Shay. Ketika bola itu
datang, Shay mengayun kearah bola itu dan mengenai bola itu dengan satu
pukulan perlahan kembali kearah pitcher.
> Permainan seharusnya berakhir saat itu juga, pitcher tsb bisa saja dengan
mudah melempar bola ke baseman pertama, Shay akan keluar, dan permainan akan
berakhir.
> Sebaliknya, pitcher tsb melempar bola melewati baseman pertama, jauh dari
jangkauan semua anggota tim. Penonton bersorak dan kedua tim mulai
berteriak, "Shay, lari ke base satu! Lari ke base satu!". Tidak pernah dalam
hidup Shay
sebelumnya ia berlari sejauh itu, tapi dia berhasil melaju ke
base pertama. Shay tertegun dan membelalakkan matanya.
> Semua orang berteriak, "Lari ke base dua, lari ke base
dua!"
> Sambil menahan napasnya, Shay berlari dengan canggung ke base dua. Ia
terlihat bersinar-sinar dan bersemangat dalam perjuangannya menuju
base dua.
Pada saat Shay menuju base dua, seorang pemain sayap kanan memegang bola itu
di tangannya. Pemain itu merupakan anak terkecil dalam timnya,
dan dia saat
itu mempunyai kesempatan menjadi pahlawan kemenangan tim untuk pertama kali
dalam hidupnya. Dia dapat dengan mudah melempar bola itu ke
penjaga base
dua. Namun pemain ini memahami maksud baik dari sang pitcher, sehingga
diapun dengan tujuan yang sama melempar bola itu tinggi ke atas
jauh
melewati jangkauan penjaga base ketiga. Shay berlari menuju base ketiga.
> Semua yang hadir berteriak, "Shay, Shay, Shay, teruskan
perjuanganmu Shay"
> Shay mencapai base ketiga saat seorang pemain lawan berlari ke arahnya dan
memberitahu Shay arah selanjutnya yang mesti ditempuh. Pada saat Shay
menyelesaikan base ketiga, para pemain dari kedua tim dan para penonton yang
berdiri mulai berteriak, "Shay, larilah
ke home, lari ke home!". Shay
berlari ke home, menginjak balok yg ada, dan dielu-elukan bak seorang hero
yang memenangkan grand slam. Dia telah memenangkan game untuk timnya.
> Hari itu, kenang ayah tersebut dengan air mata yang berlinangan di
wajahnya, para pemain dari kedua tim telah menghadirkan sebuah cinta yang
tulus dan nilai kemanusiaan kedalam dunia.
> Shay tidak dapat bertahan hingga musim panas berikut dan meninggal musim
dingin itu. Sepanjang sisa hidupnya dia tidak pernah melupakan momen dimana
dia telah menjadi seorang hero, bagaimana dia telah membuat ayahnya bahagia,
dan bagaimana dia telah membuat ibunya menitikkan air mata bahagia akan sang
pahlawan kecilnya.
> Seorang bijak pernah berkata, sebuah masyarakat akan dinilai dari cara
mereka memperlakukan seorang
yang paling tidak beruntung diantara mereka.
> Catatan kaki:
> Kita sering mengirim ribuan jokes lewat email tnp pikir panjang, namun
bila kita harus mengirimkan mail tentang pilihan dalam hidup, kita
seringkali ragu. Kejadian-kejadian vulgar, kasar dan mengerikan acap terjadi
dalam hidup ini,namun pembicaraan tentangnya seolah tertelan waktu, baik itu
di lingkungan pendidikan atau kerja.
> Jika Anda berpikir untuk forward email ini, kemungkinannya Anda akan
memilih daftar orang-orang dari email address Anda yang Anda pikir layak
untuk menerima email Anda. Ingatlah, bahwa orang yang mengirimi Anda email
ini berpikir bahwa kita semua dapat membuat perbedaan.
> Kita semua mempunyai banyak pilihan dalam hidup setiap harinya untuk dapat
memahami "kejadian alami dalam hidup". Begitu banyak hubungan antar 2
manusia yang kelihatan remeh, sebenarnya telah meninggalkan 2 pilihan bagi
kita:
> Apakah kita telah meninggalkan cinta dan kemanusiaan atau, Apakah kita
telah melewatkan kesempatan untuk
berbagi kasih dengan mereka yang kurang
beruntung, yang menyebabkan hidup ini menjadi dingin?

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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

merry christmas and happy new year :)

Just a little thought from me in a happy, quite n peaceful Christmas day, I got a fortune cookies few days ago which stated "happiness comes from inside/ your heart is a place to draw true happiness". Few days ago, I just could not understand on how I could be happy if I m alone and with no friends around and how could I be happy/ draw happiness from my heart if no one is around me? However, after a while, I think the fortune cookie is right when i got it as I think it is depended on myself whether I would like to be happy or not. Well, i could be in a group of people but if my heart is not happy, there is no point be in the group. I am also not stating that alone is better than in a group, or don't socialize, but sometimes alone is better as we can do lots of thinking and be ourselves back. Other than that, sometimes, when we are alone, we feel lonely, but must not forget that out there, there are a lot of people who care about us even though they are not around us. ;)
Another time, i did get a fortune cookie which stated " would u rather be happy or right"? very strange, but it seems to relate to each other. Well, we are not able to confirm whether a matter is right or wrong till we confront/evidence to prove that the matter is right, so instead of having a lot of thinking whether the matter is right/ true, it is better not to think about it, focus on ourselves and think of ourselves. It may sound a bit selfish but I think that is one of my xmas solution to every of my problems ;0

Monday, December 03, 2007

baby

I have just finished watching a TV show called 'help me love my baby' in Channel 4 about a mom and her beautiful n cute baby daughter who do not have bound towards each other. After the baby was born prematurely, the mother thought that she have a monster as the mother thinks herself as a monster herself. What did the baby do was avoiding eye contact/ not even look at her mother. This things happen because when the mother was a child , she had no close relationship/ not a good relationship with her own mother. Her own mother was an alcoholic who used to beaten the 'mother' up n stuffs.
It is so unbelievable that such a tiny baby can be so responsive and I think it is even much more responsive compare to an adult. These babies may not be able to talk and they may cry all the times and in fact crying is one of the ways for them to communicate to their parents. They learn things through their senses thus probably they can be very sensitive sometimes. They are able to sense on whether they are being care or being ignored and as a result of it, they response back to the behaviour and how they are being treated from adults. Babies may be difficult to be taken care off as they have lots of special needs and attention compare to adults and also because they are fragile and vulnerable. However, having them in our lives, might be greatest things that we can have so far, thus I could understand on why some certain parents are very protective towards their children even thought according to law, the children are considered as adults. Some of these children may turn into mummy's boys or girls but no one to blame on it as the parents are just too worried about their children. What can the children do is to act maturely n independently and prove to the parents that they can take care of themselves but it may be difficult to do so as parents always have thinking that their children are still children. :)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

OK, well its me again, sitting in front of my computer, accompanied by my books n TV. Instead of preparing for civil litigation, I m staring at this web thinking of what to write. I believe, I used to write alot about my thought and everything but seems that these days, I have no idea on wht I should write ( valuable article) on my blog. Perhaps it is because of amounts of alcohols that I have or perhaps it is not related to the alcohols at all , just that my brain has given up of me.....sigh.......

Well, referring to provious article, I think my prob has been settled but its just that I dont knw whetehr i will be able to trust a person 100% as I used to be.........( to be continued...) :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

"BESTFRIEND"??!!

Lots of people tell me that I am their best friend bla bla bla, but how can you be so sure that a person is your best friend or not? as in order to be best friends, I think we must know each other well enough to claim that words n I will not classify a person as my best friend just because I have just known her/him for about a year, it is a lifelong process to reach that stage.

A best friend is someone who you can trust in telling everything without fear of being betrayed and who is always be and support you in a matter that you would like to achieve; not someone who back stabbing and betrayed you from behind. If the thing that i fear the most these days is really gonna happened between me n my 'best friend', I do not think that I will be able to talk to her as i used to, in fact I will just act that she never existed in my life at all, I rather to have normal friend rather than this type of 'best friend' who back stabbing me from behind!!! n Dont ever think that you will be able to see me again!!!

A best friend is not someone who secretly hide everything from you and even when you approach her, she will pretend not to be interested in the thing but in fact she is i.e. from the way she always talks about it , body language, etc. I dont like it when she does taht, i prefer her to be honest to me and she is not the friend that I used to know before.

PS: whoever read this, must have known who I referred to and you must be conscious about what I m referring to and I really meant on wht I said above!!!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

cinta harus memiliki

sorry guys for those who do not understand indo or malay language. I got this article from http://www.kafegaul.com and after i read it, i think this article is very encouraging for me and perhaps for others as well so enjoy.....

'Ada seorang teman, berkata dengan nada agak keras, “Cinta itu harus memiliki. hanya orang bodoh, tidak percaya diri ,yang mengatakan cinta tidak harus memiliki,”. Saya terkejut, memandang dia lekat. Namun dimatanya saya melihat keteguhan, Sebuah ucapan yang berlatar pada pengalaman pribadinya.

Kemudian teman saya itu menambahkan,” Ada seorang lelaki yang menunggu perempuannya datang dan masuk kelas. Begitu saja dia sudah puas. Dan itu terus berlangsung, pria itu tidak cukup percaya diri untuk melakukan sesuatu,”. Saya hampir meneteskan airmata. Ada banyak roman picisan macam begitu.

Dia berkata begitu bukan karena emosi. Tidak ada niatan pula mencecar pihak yang beranggapan ‘cinta tak harus memiliki’. Dia menginspirasi saya dan banyak orang untuk memiliki cintanya. “Lakukan sesuatu untuk cinta lo. Dan kalaupun dia menolak lo, pastikan dia akan menyesal karena kehilangan cinta sebesar milik lo,” ucapnya dengan mantap. Lelaki itu sudah bertumbuh, kini dia memiliki kepercayaan diri.

Pada hakikatnya cinta datang dalam kondisi yang tidak direncanakan. Namun bersyukurlah apabila kita masih punya rasa cinta. Kata teman saya itu, dia menyesal tidak berjuang untuk cintanya. Semuanya pun menguap bak embun pagi disiang hari. Lewat bahasa, tatapan matanya yang penuh arti, dia hendak berbagi inspirasi itu.

“Bilang, jangan disimpan sendiri. Dia tidak akan tahu. Atau sebenarnya dia menunggu kamu bilang begitu,” katanya, tergetar. Teman saya itu pun tersenyum, menerawang, “Ya, dia menunggu. Dan ketika kami menyadarinya, semua tidak berada dalam waktu yang tepat,” .

Dia tidak ingin menyesal, walau rasa itu berkecamuk dalam dirinya. Sekali lagi dia berkata pada saya,”Kalau kamu mencintai seseorang, katakan,”. Lakukan sesuatu, jangan hanya berdiam diri melihat orang yang kamu cintai bertumbuh tanpa kehadiranmu. Jika pun tidak berjodoh, at least kamu sudah memperjuangkan cinta itu.

Semoga teman saya, dan tulisan ini menginspirasi Anda. Sebab cinta mungkin berbahasa dengan caranya, namun biarkan mulut Anda menyenandungkan kata cinta yang manis ditelinganya. Hingga genaplah bahasa cinta dan bahasa manusia itu.'

RESOURCES :http://kafegaul.com/girls/article.php?id=29169&cat=38

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I guess it is time to update my blog again after long time, kekekekkeke. I am in Bristol, working on my dissertation in which I have handed in to my supervisor but she has nt replied me yet. I need to hand it in tomorrow as i will not be in Bristol from 23Aug-6 Sept 07,I am going to Swiss (Basel,Bern, Lucerne,Laussanne, Geneva, and Zurich) from 23-31 aug, then i will go to Cambridge, Oxford, Birmingham, Cardiff, Exeter, Bournemouth and Brighton from 31-6 sept. Will be back to Bristol to celebrate my bday :P.

About my dissertation, I hope that it is going to be alrite, as comments made by my supervisor wasnt taht good, ohhh GODDDDD..... help me.
Someone has moved into room C but she is onlygoing to stay for a week in tat room. I hope that I will have nice n friendly flatmates for ths year and so do my coursemates. I m so scared...... and nervous, have not done any revision for LPC which I m supposed to do revision as wht I have been told. instead I m going for holidays..............sei sei sei sei. en i also hope that i can cope with LPC...

Sunday, July 29, 2007

PICTURES

FINALLY MY BIG FAT COUSIN WHOM THEY CALLED AS 'CHIO' KEKKEKEKEK
ME N SILLY BRO!! DONT LOOK AT HIS THUMB!!!
HANDS UP!! U HAVE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT......( THS R CRIMINALS WHO R TOO HAPPY TO BE CAUGHT BY ALICE ANGKO) KEKEKKEEKE

ACTION PLSSSS!!!
ME N NELLY AT STARBUCKS, SUN PLAZA
KATH, ANITA, ALICE, SRI, VINCE AND JULIAWATI
me with TERATE lao shi , IRENE AND PAULINA IN CEMARA - REUNI
WELL ACCORDING TO NELLY, CA BO PENG PIC
LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO MEET SOME OF THEM!!
SECOND ROUND IN CEMARA
POSE POSE
BVC YEAR END DINNER ORGANIZED BY JAMIE EN WENG TCHUNG, THEY ARE GOOD ORGANIZERS AND IT WAS A GREAT DINNER!! :)
I LOVE THIS PIC!!! SHOULD PUT IT AS MY PROFILE PIC IN FACEBOOK!! HAHAHAHA
ME WITH SUSAN, MY MATE WHO I HAVE KNWN SINCE WE WERE IN OUR MOM'S TUMMY, SHE IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON!!
ME WITH SOME OF MY MATES, VINCE,SILVIA, EVA AT FOUNTAIN, SUN 1 DAY B4 I CAME BACK TO BRISTOL

ME WITH MY COUSIN
A FEW PICS TAKEN DURING MY HOLS IN INDO N ACTIVITIES FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS :)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

BB' s Emily over racist remark

I read an article about Emily Parr (Big Brother) over her racist remarks on another contestant, Charley. As a result of the racist word ( she called Charley as a n****r) Emily has been evicted. I agree with the eviction as it can be used as a lesson to teach these people not to use racist remarks and respect others. She should have think before she used the word.
There is a part from the article which she claimed herself as an intelligent person '
Emily says she was reading from the age of two and gives herself 10 out of 10 for intelligence' (http://www.metro.co.uk/bigbrother/article.html?in_article_id=51128&in_page_id=22 9 jun 2007). If she is intelligent, she will not use that remark.
She is from Bristol, i m wondering which university or college she is in.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Jokes

1. An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

2. All Lawyers are Assholes
All Lawyers are Assholes A guy in a bar stands up and says, "All lawyers are assholes."

Another guy stands up and says "Hey...I resent that..."

The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."
http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Bar-Jokes/All-Lawyers-are-Assholes.html

3. Just Plain Dumb
A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses. The blonde says to the redhead, "isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?"

The redhead says, yes it is.

The blonde responds by saying, "Oh you are so lucky".

The redhead says, "No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air and spread apart."

The blonde says, "Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in"?
http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Blonde-Jokes/just-plain-dumb.html

4. Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

5.Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

6.Smartest Man in the World A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

7.Labour Pains A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

8.My Rules Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not."

9
he bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

10.Jeff the Bellboy Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

The second man married a telephone operator.

Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "Wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom."

The third man married a school teacher.

Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid."

At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day.

The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.

"Sir, what happened?" asked Jeff. "You married a nurse."

"Son, don't ever marry a nurse," the man sourly replied. "All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary'."

The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator's husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.

"What happened?" Jeff asked with surprise. "Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices."

"Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator," the man groaned. "All I heard last night was her nasal voice saying, 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up'."

Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teacher's husband would be calling at any moment.

Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.

Jeff couldn't believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple's room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.

"My goodness sir, what happened to you?" Jeff asked, fearing the worst. "Did you have a fight?"

The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry be sure it's to a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, 'We're going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right'."

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